Observations /

Self-Luminous Knowingness

I experience an under-lying self-luminous stillness that I know, and perceive to be, absolutely pervasive, utterly quiet, wonderfully uninvolved, yet experienced as all of who I am. I know, hear, and see an all permeating, infinitely still liveliness, animating and revealing, every level of my experience. Every aspect of my existence finds its source here. My understanding is structured and sourced in this all-encompassing knowingness, this organized intelligence.

I can hear this silent source vibrating—literally humming—into intelligent sound. A wonderful, all-inclusive, sounding intelligence that within itself is awake, a luminous self-actualizing emergence, a completely crystal clear awareness that is so lively in its connectedness that I can actually hear and see myself. This structured integrity of my own awareness is always present and abstractly all-knowing. My senses are active and intimate within these streams of self-knowing. Inside and outside experiences have been transformed into one continuum, where even the senses are uninterruptedly whole from within their source to their daily duties.

I am aware of this process as a convergence, or momentary collapse, of an abstract totality that reemerges as knowledge. This experience is constant and is the center of my self-knowing and permeates, and unites, all levels of my awareness with an intimacy of my relationship with the ultimate creator. The orderly nature of this lively field of self-knowledge has a subtle physical structure. My body, senses and environment are very much a part of this experience. I see my body and its relationship with the environment as spiraling fields of light and strings of vibrating innumerable points of golden and colored light and energy; it is extremely exquisite. I see my body as a spontaneously organized and defined specificity within an ocean of sublime consciousness. My awareness and body are seen and known as one continuous balanced togetherness of tangible knowledge and motion.

The totality of my knowingness, feelings, senses and body all together, are connected to my physical and universal environment through an awareness, a structural physicality, that pervades my mind and body and which extends all the way to infinite abstraction. I see the pre-form level of my own awareness as a web of intuiting, vibrating, conscious structure that is absolutely full of great joy, orderliness and balance: a cosmic field of intelligence that sounds into specific forms of creation through the instrumentality and attention of my awareness.

I am so intimately aware of this continuum that there is no space, or difference, between my knowing, perceiving and physical activity. My hearing is my sense of knowledge through which I appreciate the specificities of my individual and cosmic existence. This total range of hearing and sight reveals a clearly perceived togetherness, a continuum that ranges from absolute silence, through a totally pervasive liveliness and knowledge, to the expressed forms of this knowledge, terrestrial, divine and cosmic. All appreciated and contained within a cosmic hierarchy of the personified beings of nature; altogether one totality.

From within a silent vibrating field of luminous self-awareness, I am this silence and all of my emergent values. My heart is warmed by what I know, hear and see. I hear personified intelligence. I see personified intelligence. I am aware of, and participate in, a divine social structure of the divine beings of nature. We co-habit all the layers of creation in complete harmony and natural awareness. The fullness and complete divinity of this space is my oneness with God, within a divine social hierarchy that is kept lively by the dynamics of the eternal relationship of God and His/Her Creation.

The structural intelligence, the very physicality of vibrating knowledge and love, I perceive as a highway between God and me. This solid connection, structured from universal existence and all of its layers, is known and experienced as one continuum of my individual-to-cosmic awareness. It feels, and is so concretely solid, that it seems I could actually physically traverse, or walk, this road to God. It is thick with interweaving layers of knowledge—love and light—that literally put me into the presence of God. God’s awareness reflected in my awareness. I experience within my heart, my mind and my senses—my whole body—a phenomenal co-created divine, terrestrial, and cosmic hierarchy that is precisely and perceptually related to all levels of my life. All aspects and functions of my body, I experience as structurally and physically extending to this personified totality. This relationship unites all emerging events into one continual experience of individual unity.

I see the subtle levels of my body and within this seeing is the knowledge that creates this continuum that is my eternal and infinite existence. I see my body on its finest levels as vibrating spirals and streams of light energy, merging into more manifest levels, flowing, curling, into universal space and values. Each level a mirror of myself; all, a super-refined, centered mirror of cosmic events and God.

This experience—feeling and knowledge of a total connectedness—creates a knowing and physical perception of my mind, body and senses. I experience a convergence of my awareness that centers itself as my unmanifest and manifest awareness together. At this point I realize that the Absolute does not breakup and the relative does not emerge. I am both realities together, each in their fullness.

This experience is on a perceptual level, where I see my body as vibrating, spiraling waves, streams and points of consciousness pre-organized into physical matter, both near and far, an eternally whole, unchanging reality; both Absolutes existing as my awareness and body. Me here, centered in my heart, reflecting God like a tiny mirror, which reflects all of whatever it is pointed towards. I experience innumerable beings of light flowing into a centered heaven that is my heart, a universal space of cosmic and individual dimensions.

A huge cosmic cone of energy structured from millions of devas is streaming into my heart, the heart of God. I experience this one great Creator—this one great God—shining, self-effulgent in the center of creation. What a wonderful secret!

The absoluteness and eternal nature of this experience pierces all layers of awareness into one stream of infinite clarity. I experience Vedic sounds and Vedic beings as an exquisite, wonderful, divine social hierarchy of togetherness, extending in a crystal clear and orderly manner all the way to God—all the way to me—where the dynamics of the relationships are appreciated as the totality of the emerging universe of all events.

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