I was recently outside walking with a dear friend with whom I had been regularly discussing the self-aware experience for a number of years. This person was one of those quiet, practical and down to earth people who would down–play or even deny any inner experiences they thought they might of have been having. The kind of person who would…
There is this wonderful realization and experience of how universal existance, with all the principles and personifications of nature find profound rest, fulfillment and cosmic energy within our harmonious co-operative lives. From this nourishing central source we all spring forth individually and cosmically.
I perceive how through these divine principles and activities of the of nature, existing as my consciousness abstract understanding is concretely located and appreciated throughout even the physical structures of my heart, mind and body. And through this concrete experience we can know and approach the supreme Being dwelling in same divine space that we all are. Our consciousness is the mirror of the absolute, so unboundedly complex and unboundedly simple that even pure silence as a cosmic sound and sight is a shimmering wind pulsing as the bliss of self-awareness.
I see unmoving, sparking silence as self-wakefulness, tiding as each other, face-to-face, one wholeness appearing as many. Absolute stillness and knowingness are so delicately in proximity that their mutual presence is saturated with divine connectedness. I spontaneously behold a shimmering fullness so unboundedly still as the core of my being that the slightest perpetual approach of my attention creates the loudest sound of pure-knowingness—it cascades and multiplies throughout my own, everyone’s silence as the shining expressions of material creation.
There is a constant see-through quality to my experience where regular physical life, the celestial heavens and universal existance are all connected in a wonderful single array of brilliant self-awareness. Where no one layer in anyway obscures or hides any other layer of this unbounded unity.
All the states of awareness that I have gone through more or less arrived sequentially. They started as the first awakening which was kind of abstract and only a background awareness. Each stage developed more visual clarity, understanding and concreteness. They included more and more details and specificity that did not hide over-all self-awareness. As basic self-awareness grew crystal clear so did its steadiness until nothing what-so-ever would disturb it.
I could be tempted to say that the experience of less and less was also included. But really the less and less feeling was created by the fact that a wonderful simplicity of experience also developed that was able to encompass more and more. Like being in a room where a light is pointed at a small section of a room revealing only that area, as the light is increased the whole room is known and seen in one satisfying glance. In this way my consciousness eventually got so bright that all levels and features of life were seen in sharp relationship and unity to self-awareness. It feels like there is nothing too far, too small to be outside the shine of this all-time awareness. The experience of understanding and clarity grew from the inside out until finally even personal activity and physical life were experienced as the omni-directional, delightful light of self-awareness.
I do not often go into or describe stressful experiences. The reason is that any success that I have had from talking or writing has come from describing my own life story and experiences in a way that is inspiring to me. What has always captured my attention is the great possibilities available to me and to any earnestly seeking individuals. We are after all looking to get out of harmful experiences. I always feel great when I am profoundly enthused about something in my life. Is this not what we all want? But frequently we feel that our achievements are limited and have only a small and transitory value. The experience of integrated perpetual well-being is considered out of reach, maybe even undesirable. Undesirable in that this inner evenness of awareness is sometimes thought of as flat and might override the excitement and passions of regular living. (Ask my wife if this has happened!) Of course we look for some kind of fulfillment in everything we do in work or play. The inner contentment of self-aware individuals does not hide any aspect of inner or outer life. Nor is it flat or in any way devoid of enthusiasm or excitement. It is a great disservice to the awakened experience to describe it in these limiting terms. Awakening establishes all aspects of our life, including the up-and-down extremes of regular life in relation to our own unbounded experience. Then there is no experience so over-powering that a expanded consciousness cannot effectively deal with it.
The quietest value of my consciousness is such an all-encompassing visual awareness that even absolute silence is not hidden by its supreme beauty. Pure-awareness shimmering as pure silence cascading as the connected relationship of all the layers of my awareness is an incomparable experience of perception. Universal consciousness has a dignity of stature so vast and so alive that only an individual experiencing from within it could possibly recognize its absolute face-to-face proximity as existance itself. There simply is no feeling of self-importance since the experience is known as the self of everyone.
I experience this wakefulness as the movement of silence. But the word “movement” seems such a small word to describe the heavenly richness of this divine river of perception. There came a time when even my senses were not denied their rightful place in this detailed experience of realization. The wonderful experience of unbounded silence, its harmony of sounds and perfectly patterned delightful structure is my own hearing and sight. I hear this stillness singing around me; I see this silence full of the heaven of my earthly and divine family. At the edge of my sight and around my body I see a continuous celestial paradise through which I act and breathe. Pure, quiet bliss bubbles there and is the mechanism and benefit that over-flows in all directions as the unity of a divine and physical environment. I used the word “edge of sight” because my body is not experienced as altogether physical. And the divine is certainly not separate from it. The demarcation between the two is porous and transparent, allowing the free flow of love, understanding, and a generally all-round joyous feeling.
Even though it is obvious that my body is physical, it is also obvious to me that it is an expanded field of pure-to-expressed consciousness that includes all the divine venues of perception. The flow and togetherness of awareness as the knowledge of silence, the universal heavenly activity and the material universe all the way to my daily and family life are known and seen within a percolating, unbounded self-wakefulness.
When we are having any experience however universal or personal it is our own individual heart, mind, body and senses that is having the experience. The individual cannot be separated in any way from the awakening process. The personality or individuality does not progressively go into hiding in the awakening process. I experience self-awareness as an all-inclusive bounty that positively flavors all of my experience, including individuality.
The sense of freedom and just plain wonder of it all expands to vast proportions. Living our normal lives without clear experience or deep understanding is to limit access to only one small part of the whole sphere of our consciousness. The unbounded knowledge and experience that is the central foundation of everyone’s consciousness stays hidden and out of reach.
Within the inner discovery process we might begin to see that the silent expanded consciousness we are experiencing has some kind of luminous wakefulness or even a sound to it. The quiet space of our consciousness is not empty. Along with expanded consciousness perhaps we begin to see some organization or sequence in the shimmering stillness. Maybe we see some pattern or structured flow of light, or maybe we can ‘hear’ the movement of stillness. This reverberating, joyous consciousness can be beautiful. This beauty is of a divine or celestial nature and is the subtle nature of everyone’s consciousness. Underneath the sight of pure-awareness we can sense the sound of intelligence. This intelligence is the organization and content of all experience. It permeates all inner-to-outer realities in one continuous flow—it is a kind of know-through, see-through fullness of our consciousness. Self-awareness is completely full of itself.
There was a time when my experience of unbounded self-awareness, while always present was not connected to any other aspect of my life. Then there was a time for some years when my entire consciousness had a very celestial quality and sight to it. It was still slightly separate from regular activity but so close and wonderful that I did not want it to ever end. Gradually over time a more dominantly knowledge based, unified awareness that included all other layers of my experience abstractly move to the forefront. Each more self-validating state naturally without much fanfare moved permanently to the forefront without excluding anything from the so-called past. As if the self-awareness had been hiding for no apparent reason. All my shifts of consciousness were immediately known to be clarified, expanded values of previous experience.
My most recent experience is shifting from a many layered yet unified experience to a far more physical value of exactly the same experience. Deep understanding, streaming bliss, the Devata heavens, material life near and distant are known and perceived to be spread throughout not only unbounded-awareness but each other and have become the very functioning constituents of my heart mind and body. This is not a new state but is the clear blending together of one wide-awake experience of knowledge, of flowing bliss and of luminous physical life.
There came a time when I realized that the field of light and consciousness that I normally experience as a layered continuum around my body was very organized and specific. In other words it has a recognizable primary brilliance and structure that automatically results in specific functions. This organization of my knowledge-specific extended consciousness is also its entire function. Not unlike a thick sandwich where each flavor and texture of each layer co-mingles with all the other specific flavors as well as the whole sandwich.
I experience an almost unbounded, very quiet cosmic radiance in the clear shape of a self-effulgent universal physiology that is somehow the extended total value, structure and purpose of my—everyone’s—very existence. The resonance, continuity, and details of this experience encompasses pure knowingness, the literature of the ancient Ved, my body and senses, humanity, the Earth, the Sun, all the constellations, the whole universe, in a sandwiched, transparent pulse of almost silent totality. I see and know with my entire body—not just my eyes as the mechanics of how the silent Absolute can be the active Absolute.
The divine heavens, the Creator, the grand embodiment of knowledge, all the Gods and Goddesses are all spontaneously experienced and contained within the structures, functions, and relationships of my heart, mind, and body.
For the sake of comparison I could say that pure-awareness is unboundedly settled and is a state of luminous self-knowingness. Celestial awareness is perceiving the most subtle relative aspect of consciousness and recognizing the glorious expressions and divine forms of that enhanced and expressed silence along with pure, self-awareness. My experience in activity is that while I am looking at anything in my surroundings I am also aware of simultaneously seeing it through multiple layers of transparant awareness. First, I experience a very still field of vast consciousness that has a noticeable quietly shimmering self –awareness quality. Second, I experience a divine quietly joyous even heavenly layer that is full of divine beauty. Third, I experience the regular field of my normal senses. These layers of consciousness are interdependent realities of one totality of awareness.
Like a screen and the movie projected on it, except in the case of an awakened mind even the screen is seen as a vibrant aspect of the whole experience. In any state of awareness before awakening every experience hides the experience of pure- awareness— afterwards all experience is seen in the light of or through a field of unbounded-awareness.