The Experience That Never Left

Sitting on my bed, eyes closed. It was the middle of the afternoon. I became aware of a physical dome of huge silence, so deep, so expanded, that it literally pulsed throughout with enormous energy. Slightly taken a-back I said to myself, “What is this?” Never before had I experienced stillness so profound, so complete!

The silence rang with intense clarity, stretched taut from edge to edge; from the heights to the depths of my consciousness there was not a flicker of movement. In this stillness, I felt and saw the tiniest point of light and energy at the base of my spine, at the very center of my awareness.

It began to whirl like a stir. On a completely waveless sea of self-luminous awareness I could see a wonderful point of pure energy. I watched closely as this whirl of energy picked up speed; at the same time, I could also hear a distant thundering roar like a great waterfall. Then the spinning pulse of energy started racing up the center of my body.

The pure unbounded silence was, as if collapsing, around the spin, but, curiously, it also remained totally unaffected. It was a delightful experience, but it was so loud and it felt so physical, like a cauldron of churning cosmic energy—like a freight train—in a vast dome of total stillness, that I was slightly concerned.

Spiraling up my spine, racing as a river of consciousness, as the concentrated and expanding, point of my unbounded attention, I suddenly saw, felt, and heard, a great explosion as countless torrents of light and energy shot out in all directions.

At the nexus of this experience I felt an exquisite, loud, hammer-blow of bliss, which was directly above the starting point of the experience at the base of my spine. With each strike, clear details of the celestial nature within the field of my expanded silence, opened up to my senses.

The experience of tremendous energy was far from over; it kept racing upwards. Another great spin, another even louder explosion of joy, and another heavenly sphere of clarity was revealed.

The energy kept stopping and starting, journeying up my central nervous system many times, each flash a greater expansion, revealing a greater divinity. It became obvious to me that my expanded body is not just a localized physical body, but is also the residing place of a layered geography of numerous heavens, all piled up fully occupied around and in me. These heavens are the organizational fields from which the various aspects of nature find their way in facilitating physical existence.

Altogether there was a wonderful, co-existing, divine relationship—an eternal, ongoing communication—between my personal existence and these personifications of nature.

Vast heavenly vistas, with their attendant celestial occupants, ballooned to almost infinite dimensions at each point of experience, corresponding to specific areas or points of my body. Finally, the bliss was so intense that I almost wished it would stop. Almost.

It was then that the whole experience reached a surprising crescendo as it roared and rushed, like a cosmic wind, towards the crown of my head. By this time I was one universal, shimmering, melting heart, mind, and body.

The final greatest vision detonation of pure emotion was indescribable: I experienced the inside of my head like a brilliant universal sun, a multi-faceted, cosmic, celestial jewel.

My head and heart expanded to infinity and became the entire spin of existence, while still remaining my head and heart, while still remaining Absolutely still. The thundering cyclone of light, with one last explosive expansion, started shooting out the top of my head like some vast fireworks or a huge rainbow-colored, primordial unbounded fountain.

The next day, while sitting in my room, the same super-silent dome of stillness suddenly opened up again. I said to myself, “Oh! Oh! Here it comes again!” I knew what to expect this time and the entire experience replicated itself in even greater detail and clarity, but I have run out of any adjectives to describe it.

On the third day it happened yet again and more layers of detail and clarity were added to my understanding. Finally, everything that I gained in those three days became consolidated as one experience in my mind and heart, and even though the experience gradually moved to the background, it has never left my awareness. To this day, experience just keeps on spinning and expanding—a field of knowledge and immovable silence—that occupies the physical space around and me.

After this experience, everything changed forever. I could not think or experience my body in the same way ever again. This continuous experience became far more real than my daily life; yet, the activity of my daily life became an integral part of the entire package of knowledge and experience that I now possessed.

Now it is very clear to me that anything that happens to the heart or mind, also happens to the body; and conversely, anything that happens to the body, influences the heart and mind. They cannot be considered separately.

Pure silence itself is the ocean in which my awareness—everybody’s awareness—is experiencing the story of personal and universal existence.